Sunday, May 24, 2009

A Boy and His Shadow, 1st partial revision

Better to have loved...
By Kelly Sorenson

After seeing out the last guests, and waving goodbye to them from his doorway, Adrian felt a chilled breeze behind him, rushing out to mix with the hot and stale August air. What was taking them so long? He watched the men loosen their ties, and the women fan themselves, trying to beat back the heat, when finally they piled into their car and drove off. It was about time.

Adrian turned and marched back in to his cool, slightly darkened home. The yellow plate glass on each side of the door cast dusty streams of light that captured the feeling of late summer outside. Walking down the hallway, he looked at the clock and gave a short, unfeeling laugh: 3:56 PM. The wake had started at 11, and though he knew it was dragging along, he didn’t expect it to drag for so long.

He turned the corner into the kitchen, where he opened one of the cupboards and got himself a glass. He saw something out of the corner of his eye, at the corner booth style kitchen table, but chose to ignore it. Everybody had gone home for the day, so he didn’t want to let this bother him as well. He let the faucet run ‘til the water was its coolest, and slipped the glass underneath the stream. He couldn’t see anything but the spice rack now, but he knew that something was there.

Water. He just needed a cool glass of water.

He lifted the nearly full glass to his lips and drank, and he saw it again. That something. That person. Utter rage welling up within him, Adrian gripped the half empty glass and threw it at the person sitting in his kitchen. The sound of glass shattering and water splattering echoed in his ears, until the person spoke.

"So you can see me."
Adrian’s breathing was ragged for a few moments, but after a few deep breaths, he regained his composure and answered what he thought was a question. "Yes."
The person half smiled and rolled his eyes, as if he’d just experienced some sort of “eureka” moment he saw coming a mile away. This was the chance he’d been waiting for, and he wouldn’t let it slip away. He cleared his throat, trying to suppress a laugh. "Since when?"
"Always."
"So you've just been ignoring me this whole time?"
"...yes."
"Why would you do that?"
"I've…” Adrian paused and scratched the back of his head, as if this would make the answer fall out. When nothing happened, he walked to the table, pulled out a chair and sat down. “I’ve always had other people to look at."
"Not anymore, huh?" Adrian shot him a disdainful look, as if to say ‘Honestly? You just said that?’ The person cleared his throat and looked down at the table. "Sorry kid."

Adrian sighed and rubbed his forehead with his right hand, covering most of his face. "...s'fine..." he said, in a cracked sigh.

The person watched him sit there for a moment, excited that they were finally having a conversation, but reluctant to continue having it.
"Must've been a real shock if you're this talkative though." Adrian lifted his head up, as if with a renewed sense of the situation, like he was suddenly aloof.
"Not really. I'm just bored now is all."
"That's what you call it, huh?"
"That's what I call it."

The steadfast ticking of the clock on the wall was all that could be heard in the silence that now dominated the room. The conversation so far felt like one had by old acquaintances that no longer held any interest in each other, but felt obligated to attempt to reconnect.

2 comments:

Janice Head said...

I guess I have to preface my comments with the reminder that I am a math person and have a pretty low tolerance and understanding of "great literature".
That said, I love the opening of the story, but I get confused once the dialog starts. I have a hard time telling who is talking and fully grasping the relationship between the two characters.
I am probably way out of line, but it really reminds me of Jesus who has been there the whole time watching over the boy so he was never really alone, and his need for true relationships that only He can fill. I guess you probably didn't have a spiritual message in mind did you?
I hope you will post more so I can read it.

Anonymous said...

Kelly to tell you honestly i didnt read all but that has NOTHING to do with your story i would rather swallow 10 pounds of bees then read i dont know why but i have always hated to read books unless they have bright pictures on every page i love the ideas and will someday enjoy watching the movies inspired by your novels see even my grammer and spelling sucks im just not ment to be with the readrers and writers :(

-the youngest spawn from your mom


Please dont take ofense to any of it i ment it all is good times i hope it comes out that way

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